It is essential that we, no matter what our stage in life, learn to manage our finances. Money is God’s gift to us and we should be good stewards of this gift.
In this episode, former President of the Money Market Association of the Philippines, Investment House Association of the Philippines, Vietnam Bond Market Association and VP of the Forex Club of the Philippines, and now a member of the CFC International Council, Bro. Bong Arjonillo, will discuss how we can be better at handling our finances and how Christ continues to heal us from our financial ills.
The transcript is available below the video.
Transcript
ROBERT LABAYEN
Hi brothers and sisters, welcome back. This is the second episode of What Ails You. And this is our online series in celebration of our 41st Anniversary. I’m still your host, Bro. Robert Labayen, and I am journeying with you on this path to healing.
Last time, we had Bro. Joe Yamamoto, with us, and he talked about how we can move on from what ails us. I remember his advice was for us to focus on [He] who loves us, to commit ourselves to the Lord, and always hope in Him. If you haven’t seen that episode yet, you can check the link in the box.
And today, we are going to talk about a topic that I’m sure affects all of us, including me, for sure. And that is finance.
And we have with us today a brother who is so knowledgeable on the topic of finance. In fact, he used to be the president of the largest investment bank in the Philippines. And, he is also the former president of the Money Market Association of the Philippines, the Investment House Association of the Philippines, Vietnam Bond Market Association, and vice president of the Forex Club of the Philippines. Very long credentials so I cannot memorize that. And also, he is a member of our International Council. I’m sure you know him, our brother Bong Arjonillo.
BONG ARJONILLO
Good day everyone. Thank you for having me here, and for your kind words, Bro. Robert. I’ve been a banker for almost 38 years, and it was only in the last few years—28 years, in fact—that we joined Couples for Christ. That I actually learned about discipline in my finances. And financial stewardship is what the Lord would want to teach us. So I’m very glad to be here, but of course, I’m not as knowledgeable as others, but I try to answer their questions.
ROBERT
Always good to hear your stories, and we look forward to a lot of sharing today. I know that finance is always a taboo topic among many people.
BONG
Yes. Well, one of the basic needs of any individual—single, married, young, retired—is really how to manage is finances. You know money may not give us everything, but it plays a significant role in our lives. This allows us to pursue our dreams, or basically to have a better life ahead of us and for our family members.
Money is really a gift from God, and you would agree, Bro. Robert, and we are but stewards. But what happens when we are not able to manage our finances? What happens when we have nothing to manage at all?
ROBERT
I can agree with you that if we don’t discuss it, we cannot address it. So, how do we discuss money matters in the family or in marriage?
BONG
You know Bro. Robert, one of the reasons why many marriages break up is really about money. I can give you several reasons why couples have problems or conflicts in their marriages particularly on money matters.
One of them is upbringing. One of them perhaps may be a big spender. The other might be a tightwad or a penny-pincher. This may cause them a lot of conflict.
ROBERT
How do we deal with such differences?
BONG
Well communication is key, really. It’s very important for them to discuss their future as a couple and as a family. And they must be disciplined in their approach to their finances. They should have a budget, and they must stick to it. And they should monitor it every single day, and discuss it regularly in their one-on-ones.
And so one-on-one communication is really important for them to be able to avoid conflicts in their finances.
ROBERT
I see, and I can relate. Those are really very helpful steps how to address these financial issues in the family.
BONG
Yes. And another reason why there are problems in marriages is really—particularly in finances—is about secrets. Secret financial activities. First is secret bank accounts. Have you ever heard of that? Do you have a secret bank account, Bro. Robert?
ROBERT
I don’t even have a bank account. (laughs)
BONG
Well. Regardless, many couples actually have secret… not really many couples, but some couples tend to keep secrets from their other half—their better half—in their financial activities. One is secret bank accounts.
Couples need to agree either on either to have an individual account or a joint account. There are advantages and disadvantages to such. In my case particularly, at the very start of our marriage and even before when we were still engaged, we already had a joint account. Eventually as my wife gave me allowances—well, she’s the more thrifty one between the two of us and so she manages our finances: she budgets for the home, she decides what to spend on; she’s the thriftier one between the two of us—eventually, she allowed me “financial freedom” of sorts, by giving me allowances. Eventually we had to agree on having individual accounts.
But you know, what is important here is that both of us know how much is in the account of the other. While we have a joint account, we also have individual accounts—but we hold no secrets from one another in terms of how much is in the account, in terms of what goes in and what goes out.
That is the openness that must be engendered in a marriage. No secret bank accounts.
ROBERT
I know I have a bank account, and that’s my payroll account. And my wife has other bank accounts. They’re not secret, but I don’t know how much money is in there. But I’m sure there’s so much I can learn from you and start looking into our finances more.
BONG
But you know when you don’t know how much money is in the account of the other person, there is a temptation. To accumulate more, or to spend more, or to spend on activities that will not help the marriage.
ROBERT
Ah, okay.
BONG
So you need to really have openness in your marriage, particularly in your finances. But there is also another secret.
ROBERT
Yeah I know! I think that one secret can lead to another secret. So there is so much more that you can reveal. So many secrets!
BONG
Another one is secret debt.
ROBERT
Secret debt.
BONG
The communication process bogs down when one of the spouses starts accumulating debt externally without telling the other one. Here is where the problem lies. I think the principle we need to follow here is that the problem of one is the problem of the other.
Oftentimes, it is already too late. When the debts have ballooned, when the problem begins to surface, when the things have gotten out of hand. The other spouse now becomes helpless, and the financial problem may lead to a marital fallout.
And I’ve known couples who have asked me for advice regarding that. And their marriages hit rock bottom because one of the spouses has already accumulated millions of pesos in debt, without the other spouse knowing.
So they really have to discuss debt and how much of it they should incur. They have to agree, and they have to limit their debt necessary only to the basic needs, the essential needs. And if they need to invest, only in fixed assets that will increase in value. Not just a house.
ROBERT
I know that some secrets happen not because of intention to really hide something, but maybe one of the partners is shy to admit something, or has a necessity that he or she cannot talk about. I agree with you that communication is essential here, but how would you know—for example, as a husband—that your wife has a secret? How do you start the discussion? How do you find out?
BONG
You know, the problem is if you don’t talk regularly. When you don’t spend time with each other. When you don’t know the love language of the other. When there’s really no communication between the two of you. That’s when problems start, that’s when problems grow.
For instance, when you spend secretly. You spend without informing your spouse, even for small matters. Particularly when you spend beyond your budget, under the presumption that it will not hurt the budget in a big manner, it can lead to uncontrolled, chronic, extravagant spending if left unchecked. Worst is, if the spouse doesn’t know.
ROBERT
So let’s talk specifically about secret spending. How would you address that?
From what I see here, communication with your spouse is very significant. Both of you have to be open about your financial situations. How can couples solve this problem about secret spending?
BONG
Well, let me put it this way, Bro. Robert. I think discipline is key here, and we really need to talk about it together, when we need to spend. One practical dimension of this is to put all your receipts in one place, in a box, and review them. Either you, or your spouse of both of you. Review them regularly without any bit of suspiciousness. Ask your spouse, “Where did you spend this on? Why did you spend this much?” In fact even before you spend, you already have to ask permission especially if it’s for a big amount.
The emotional make-up and attitude of one another so that this financial discipline may be sustained—one who is constantly nagging about things, about finances, about anything in the house—you know, this will sort of prod the other person who is the object of such nagging, to spend more. Out of fear, or maybe to spite the spouse. On the other hand, one who is prone to make excuses may lie incessantly—and this may lead to financial bankruptcy, because of exorbitant spending at some points.
Well apart from regular one-on-ones to show sincerity in keeping the marriage afloat and upright, I think the biggest and most important thing for both of us to do in our marriage, individually and as a couple, is to pray. To pray, and be spiritually immersed so that you can exorcise your demons eventually.
Because what is critical here is grace—to ask for the grace. Because promises alone will not do it – for promises can be broken. Effort alone will not do it completely, as habits may be hard to change. But grace is needed through prayer to enable us to lead a complete life of transformation, especially in our finances.
ROBERT
These secrets can really affect marriages, and you know, these can lead to bigger issues in the family. And thank you for this advice—I think we can save so many relationships with this talk of yours. I agree with you also that prayers will really help, especially in resisting temptations to spend. So what are other things that may affect the financial matters in the family?
BONG
Well, let me see. In the Asian context, it’s really about extended families. We all have extended families, unlike in the US or other Western countries where, you know, they bring them to nursing homes. In our Asian setting, extended families can cause marital problems in the financial dimension. Financial problems of family members may strain the finances of a couple, of a family. But still: in all, we must be honest with one another within our marriage. We know what we are getting into when we married one another. We know the extent of financial capabilities of the family, the extended family, and so we must discuss it thoroughly. Because there is that backdrop of knowing that at some point, we must help our in-laws.
Now to address this. If you can, early on, set aside some money that will grow, will accumulate from interest alone. So that when extended family members come to you, then you can help. And what is important is this: to create emotional goodwill. When your family member comes to you to ask for financial help. You tell me, as your spouse, and I will be the one to give the money to the ailing, or the member who is in need.
You know, Bro. Robert, any debt incurred by a family member should be considered as money foregone. You need to discuss between the two of you how much you’re willing to lose, to help a family member.
ROBERT
Brothers and sisters, I’m sure that many of you can relate to what Bro. Bong just discussed. It’s an experience of most Filipinos. So as he advised, it is important for husband and wife to agree on the amount that you are willing to lose to debts that will never get paid.
BONG
That’s right, brother. When an irresponsible family member becomes a financial parasite, you will eventually need to make hard decisions. And of course initially you may provide some form of help, maybe for a start-up business. But as a preventive action, you may need to bring your family member to a financial adviser or planner, to help this person. Because you cannot be on his back, or helping or being with him or her 24/7.
ROBERT
Now, talking about these people who borrow money from us. These are people who don’t have enough, I suppose. So for example, the minimum wage earners. With the high inflation rate and there’s a lot of prices going up—how can they manage to survive in these times?
BONG
That’s a very good question, Bro. Robert. Right now, well, one thing a minimum wager has to consider is to not have a credit card. That’s very basic for me. I’d say do not get a credit card, but if you already have one, keep it at home, under lock and key. And if you happen to use it, do not pay on installment basis. Never. Because it’s so tempting to see just a small amount being paid monthly, because it’s on an installment basis. And I’ve had several brothers and sisters come to me, when I was still working with Citibank, asking me to help them restructure their debts on their credit cards, simply because they have spent so much and they couldn’t pay it anymore. The best thing to do is to return your credit card, and just pay in cash.
Otherwise if you don’t return it, it will turn you into ashes.
When it comes to spending, do not spend and live beyond your means. Do not try to keep up with the Jones’. Never compare your own life and lifestyle with that of another. Have a budget, and stick to your budget. And what I did when I was still a single person, was even… you know, this is a personal story, where I had a logbook. I was scrimping on my money when I was still single. You know… our business got bankrupt and so what I had as my allowance, I had to budget thoroughly. So I had a logbook; I had a budget, I had a column, and then another column for my actual expense. Everyday I monitor it.
One day, I had an excess of one peso. And I said, how could I have an excess of one peso? And I remembered that morning when I was about to pay the jeepney one peso, I remember my neighbor paying for my fare. And so at the end of the day, that one peso became part of my savings.
So it’s very important to monitor your expenses to the last centavo, if you’re really scrimping on your funds.
ROBERT
Very practical advice, Bro. Bong. So I hope, brothers and sisters, you are taking notes. Now I will ask him an important question, which is about debt. How much do you borrow, how do you deal with it? How do you manage your debts?
BONG
Well, the basic principle here is borrow only for your basic needs. Do not borrow for non-essentials. And make sure to pay your debts on time. Evidently, the most affected families are those living along the poverty line. In an inflationary situation, they will be chasing the cost of goods, which keep on rising, and will practically outrun them. And at some point they find that what they are earning is not enough to buy even the basic necessities.
ROBERT
Would you have any advice on how they can stretch their budget or augment their income?
BONG
Well for the minimum wagers starting a small backyard business would help augment income. They should match it with their passion or skill such as cooking. Food is always a good option. They must score the neighborhood and see what basic needs are being unmet, that they can provide. Ang perhaps they can do online business. They have to fill a perceived need in their neighborhood. And most often in a neighborhood business, this only requires a small capital. And my rule fo thumb here is that they should not invest or spend more than 20% of their wage to start up a business. They may borrow, but of course, this is a risk they need to take. But if they feel that their business will fill a certain need and will provide them additional income, go for it.
ROBERT
You mentioned investments. So I will ask Bro. Bong about investments, assuming that I can invest in anything. So how should I advise? Should I buy equities? Or how would I invest whatever money I have?
BONG
That is a very good question. This is a topic in itself, a very big topic meant for another time. But at that this point, I’d like to just say that for many of our members who are retired, do not invest in equities. Instead, invest in principal protected government securities. Not even corporate securities. In other words, government securities are risk-free, because the government can print money anytime to pay off their debt to you. They owe you when you buy a bond from them. And for as long as you hold onto that bond until its maturity, you can get back the principal plus interest. Now in the interim, the price of bonds rise and fall. If you are able to capture the market when the price rises above the price you bought it at, you can actually sell it at a profit.
The basic message here is: do not gamble your hard-earned money to invest in speculative equities. If you want to invest in equities, just a small amount. Normally you only invest what is in excess. And when you invest in your retirement, invest in blue chip stocks—particularly stocks that give dividends regularly. So that every year, you have passive income that brings you money for your spending, for your expenses.
Ultimately, no matter how small or big your income is, what is important is you see it as God’s provision for you. And that it is God’s provision, you have to be a good steward of it. You have to take care of it, you know how to manage it well. Whether you’re single, married, employed, retired, or managing your own company or just a small business, or sari-sari store for one, your attitude and lifestyle should match your financial management.
I would say that, for me, my basic principle is just to live simply. To live a simple life. I remember a 92-year-old I saw, a father of one of our brothers who attended their wedding anniversary, 25th wedding anniversary. And I was—I saw him, you know, very peaceful, calm, and enjoying the whole proceedings. And so I approached him, and I asked him: “Uh sir, Grandpa, what is the secret of your long life?” And he said it in six words. He said, “Simple life, simple problem, long life.” (laughter)
So this essentially covers what I mean by saying you just have to live a simple lifestyle. Otherwise you’ll always have to, you know, crave for more because somebody else has more. Just look at your life as a service to God, your resources as given by God—enough for you and for your family, whatever you have. And remember to be grateful always. When you are grateful, you will never go wrong, you will never spend more. Gratefulness to God brings more blessings—and perhaps, this will allow you, in fact, to spend more, because you have more. Out of your gratefulness to God, who gives more in his faithfulness to somebody who is faithful.
towards handling finances will either make or break us. Let us be grateful and learn to live within our means.
ROBERT
Again thank you so much Bro. Bong. You know, finance is a very important part of our lives, we can’t escape it. and if there are problems that arise, we must face them instead of running away from them. Very valuable things that we have learned from you today. So for all our listeners today, the married couples, let us remember the things that Bro. Bong shared with us today.
Communication is key. You must always talk honestly and heart to heart. We must be open to our spouse because we are in this together.
And we must remember that whatever we have, big or small, we must always embrace them, accept them, and look at them as gifts of God. So we must always have the posture of gratitude.
We must remember to always pray for healing in our financial ailments.
So Bro. Bong, would you like to lead us to a closing prayer?
BONG
Sure, just a short prayer. Let us continue to be in the presence of God. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Heavenly Father, thank you for all the provisions you have given me and my family all these times. Thank you for taking care of us in our needs. As I strive to grow in holiness, help me to be holy in the area of my finances. Help me to be responsible in my financial stewardship, so that others may also benefit from my own resources. Help me to live simply so that they may also simply live. Help me, Father, to be healed of whatever ails me in my managing my finances, whatever problems and irresponsible behavior that tries to prevent me from truly appreciating your generosity in my life.
Father, all these we pray—I pray for—in the mighty name of your Son, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns in the unity of the Holy Spirit, and with the intercession by the of our Mama Mary. Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
ROBERT
Thank you again Bro. Bong, on behalf of all our brothers and sisters in Couples for Christ.
Thank you, brothers and sisters, for being with us in this second episode of “What Ails You?”. If this has been personal for you, I hope you learned a lot from our brother. You may also share this with people that you know, who may benefit from these learnings.
You can like this video so it can reach more people. And to be notified for the next episode, you can click the subscribe button, and click the notification bell.
May we never forget that through, in, and with Christ, there is healing. This is Bro. Robert Labayen, and see you in the next episode. God bless!
(Outro)